Thanks to everyone who participated in our inaugural Connection Counselor Survey!

Below is an infographic summary of the results, plus some resources that may help.

Stay on the lookout for the next Connection Counselor survey in July...

Resources

Below are some of my best suggestions for addressing the issues that came up during the survey.

If you'd like to discuss more, reach out to me at joe@connectioncounselor.com.

1.) GETTING A JOB

• Get a resume and LinkedIn makeover - Lynda Spiegal is a dear friend who runs Rising Star Resumes, a highly rated resume and LinkedIn profile service. With 14 years of experience in human resources, Lynda understands how recruiters and hiring managers think when they're looking to hire.

• Read EZPZ articles on interviewing by going to www.connectioncounselor.com/blog and typing “interview” in the Search box. You will find articles to help you deal with your job search better like this one: “Change Your Perspective, Nail the Interview”

• Listen to "Why It Works" on Successful Interviews with Julia Shamis, who is a recruiting and career services professional. We explore why an interview is not an interrogation, how to foolproof your day of the interview commute, and the silliest, most tragic way to blow a job offer.

2.) YOUR BUSINESS

• Read Book Yourself Solid, by Michael Port to learn how to get more clients than you can handle, even if you hate marketing and selling. 93% of small business owners who use the system see a 40% increase in their revenues in the first year.

• Watch the Connection Counselor’s video on “Driving Customers” from the #NLV2019 conference in Atlanta, Georgia. Special thanks to my partner-in-crime and co-presenter Michael "Fritz" Fritzius - President at Arch DevOps.

3.) GAME OF THRONES

• Read Workplace Poker: Are You Playing the Game, or Just Getting Played? by Dan Rust to learn how to live beyond Season 1 of your job.

• Read Radical Candor, by Kim Scott to learn how to give and receive feedback and communicate in a way that makes everyone better at their jobs.

• Listen to “Why It Works” on Performance Management with Gail Smith-McCarthy where we explore the role of hardship in success, how to manage and motivate your people despite limited resources, and what it means to practice sustainable leadership.

4.) WORK ZEN

• Read Brave Leadership, by friend and mentor Kimberly Davis to learn how to bring your full, best self to everything you do, including your work.

• Listen to “Why It Works” on Brave Leadership with author and speaker Kimberly Davis where we explore the role of fear in pursuing your goals, the power of discovering your Super Objective, and how to overcome barriers to living the life you are meant to lead.

• Read The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play By Neil Fiore, Ph.D. for a fresh and powerful perspective on the causes of procrastination and how to overcome them to be your most productive self.

5.) TOP GUN

• Learn by taking the Connection Counselor’s course the EZPZ Public Speaking Makeover series, which will teach you how to deliver a great public speaking performance. The first module, Overcoming Your Fear of Public Speaking is FREE and is only 10 minutes long, so what do you have to lose?

• Read Simply Said: Communicating Better at Work and Beyond, by Jay Sullivan to learn how to be a more effective communicator at work and beyond.

• Read the EZPZ article “It’s Not Who You Know…” to learn an important secret about effective Networking…and get more cowbell.

FINAL TIP

Want more FREE resources? The Connection Counselor has created several free guides to help you in the areas of Connection, Perspective, Public Speaking and Networking.

Receive all these guides and any future ones by signing up to the Connection Counselor newsletter here.

You will get immediate access to all of our FREE guides. No hoops, no waiting - just instant gratification. If you're into that sort of thing. I won't judge.

Over some spicy food had a chat with Turtle about some career angst. Turtle had recently started a new job and was killing it. Now the big boss wanted to work directly with Turtle on special projects. What's not to like? The problem was Turtle had been burned in the past by bosses who were great in small doses, but a horror show in firefighting mode. The new boss had a different style than the old boss, but could Turtle trust them? Would encouraging this new dynamic be a disaster? Was there even a choice?

Turtle’s past traumatic experiences were coloring the current situation. When we are deeply disappointed by someone it's typical to react with, "I'll never let this happen to me again."

We talked about Principle #3 of the Connection Counselor's 4 Perspective Principles - REALITY.

We’ve all been let down at some point or another. That’s human. The thing that makes it hurt the most, however, is when we are hurt by those we never imagined would hurt us. In a way, by putting an unrealistic expectation on another person, we set ourselves up for a bigger fall.

"We are all capable of divine beauty and unimaginable horrors."

Or to steal a line from Victoria Aveyard’s the Red Queen, “Anyone can betray anyone.”

It’s not that certain people, say our parents or friends don’t owe us a duty of care or loyalty. And totally disconnecting from others based on fear is tragic and not admirable. It’s about accepting the reality that those who “should” be there for us sometimes will not be and that others who owe us nothing will sometimes surprise us.

Once we accept reality and let go of the entitlement of “should,” the hubris of thinking we are an expert judge of character, and the righteousness of our opinions about correct behavior - the disappointments are less tragic and the surprises are less astounding.

Accepting reality allows us to move forward without the crippling fears of disappointment and to have a more balanced reaction to the unpredictable swells of life.

I don’t know how things will turn out, but I hope Turtle will not allow the past to dictate the future. We have to decide how to live life knowing that we cannot always predict the heroes and villains. Sometimes we will get it right, sometimes we will get it wrong. All we can do is choose the best perspective for ourselves.

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Want more Perspective Principles?

Receive a FREE copy of the Connection Counselor's 4 Perspective Principles as detailed in “Your Secret Superpower: Learn to Control Time, Reality and Emotions” by signing up to the Connection Counselor Community here:

https://www.joekwonjoe.com/getfree

Bonus: When you sign up, you will get immediate access to all our FREE guides. No hoops, no waiting - just instant gratification. If you're into that sort of thing. I won't judge.

If you have any questions, reach out to joe@connectioncounselor.com

Over sushi had a chat with a friend (let's call them Turtle) who was nervous and unsure of what to do. Turtle had a business trip to meet an executive who is a heavy hitter in their field and wanted to get to know them better. Turtle had an inspired idea to ask the executive to go watch a baseball game together, but was hesitant. The usual doubts and worries surfaced. Would the executive be too busy, not interested or somehow be off put by the invitation?

I got the sense that Turtle wasn't exactly putting the executive on a pedestal, but was definitely affected by the executive’s heavy hitter status. This was making Turtle question what seemed like a fairly reasonable, low risk / high reward move.

We talked about Principle #2 of the Connection Counselor's 4 Perspective Principles - EQUALITY.

When we come across people who have a higher status than us, whether it is in our family, company or society, we have a tendency to lose perspective of an important point.

Even the most exalted among us are in the most important ways, our equals.

Pick someone you would not dare approach. They might be an athlete, a musician or a CEO. Now imagine the two of you stranded on a desert island without food or water. Or dealing with a serious illness. You quickly see that we all have the same basic wants and needs. When we have this perspective, it frees us to be more comfortable with ourselves and others.

Later that day, I received a message from Turtle. They had emailed the executive who replied they'd be happy to go to the game. At this point, Turtle wasn't even sure why they had been so nervous in the first place. That's the funny thing about perspective.

When we lose perspective and suddenly get it back, our previous struggles can seem silly.

Here's to feeling silly!

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Want more Perspective Principles?

Receive a FREE copy of the Connection Counselor's 4 Perspective Principles by signing up to the Connection Counselor Community in 3 EZPZ steps:

1. Tell us your first name

2. Include the words "GET PERSPECTIVE" in the subject or body of your email

3. Email the information above to joe@connectioncounselor.com