Have you ever had a bright idea that you thought would change everything for you? Maybe you even got off to a good start and saw some initial results. However, in the end, it was not sustainable or rather, you were not able to keep it up and it ended up on the trash heap of bright ideas that didn’t stick.

A little while ago I had such a bright idea for managing my stress levels. I think it’s important to write about our successes as well as our failures so wanted to share this with you. I had noticed that on days when I was stressed out, I could seemingly go hours without taking a deep breath or appreciating the good things I had in life. So I tried setting calendar reminders every 2 hours to prompt me to walk around for a few minutes or if that was not practical, at a bare minimum to take some deep breaths.

This lasted a little less than a week before I scrapped the idea. So what happened and why do I think this failed?

1. It felt like another commitment. Sure, it was a good commitment to myself, but it felt like it added to my burden instead of relieving it.

2. It felt like another task. There was no joy or sense of reward in it, before during or after.

3. It felt clumsy. It just didn’t work well with the flow of my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there may be something in here that works, but this particular incarnation didn’t.

If you have a process or technique that seems to work for you, I would love to hear about it. Just let me know in the comments.

Rough week?

They say videos of cute puppies or kittens helps and I totally believe this. Smiling and laughter are very effective, too.

As for me, a funny commercial always puts a smile on my face. Hope this gives you a smile and a laugh, all in under 60 seconds.

To change your problems, change your values!

I don’t mean abandon your values. I don’t mean accept other people’s values. I mean reconsider what it is that you actually need and what values truly matter.

So if your value is you want your kid to get into a top school and your kid is not motivated, you have a big problem. Let’s assume this is not going to improve so this will be a problem that takes a lot of your time and energy and stresses you out. You care and that’s why it hurts so much.

But what if there was a different path?

Let’s take a look at changing that your values. Instead of valuing your kid getting into a good school, what if you changed your value to “I want my kid to live the best version of their life they can and I want to help them get a strong start.” Now with this new value, getting into a top school is no longer the only solution. There are countless other ways your kid can have a fulfilling life and countless other ways you can support them in this regard. Now you may have a better and different problem, like how do I help them discover their inner motivation and drive? Or how do I help them figure out how to transition best into adulthood and become a contributing member of society. Or how do I help them get into the best school for them that will prepare them for what is to come?

Notice how being stuck on a single value can be what creates the problems for you?

Again, to change your problems, change your values!