Making the Most of a New Job

Change is stressful. And major changes, even good ones, come with increased stress. For instance, both divorce AND marriage are both on most lists of life's most stressful events, along with birth and death, and getting hired or fired. We are creatures of habit so predictability reduces our overall level of anxiety.

On the flipside, change and stress are a necessary ingredient for us to grow and develop. But there is a catch. The stress we experience over the course of the day is additive, which is why you might start the day relaxed and be redlining by the time you leave work. And too much stress makes it harder for us to make the most of our opportunities.

I recently started a new job, which was good news for me and my family. However, this change came with stress. A new commute, new office layout, new office politics - to name a few. So in order to limit some of the collateral stressors I experience in my day, I've implemented 3 EZPZ habits. The great thing about habits is once they are established, they require very little willpower and fold into your day seamlessly.

1. Robot Parking

I'm not sure when I realized my behavior was ludicrous, but in the past I would zig-zag my car from the row closest to the entrance to the last row until I found the closest parking spot. Let's do the math. So I was spending at least a few more minutes, burning extra gas, and adding stress to my first activity at work for the "benefit" of being maybe 20 steps closer to the entrance. And to be embarrassingly honest, thankfully there is no physical or medical reason I would need to be closer and my dad-bod could actually use the extra steps.

2. Walk-in song

Music has and always will have a huge effect on our mood. And what better way to start off the day than a song to put you in the right mindset to tackle your day? A song like "Center Stage" by Capital Cities makes me feel like I can handle whatever is thrown at me. Well, at least for the first 30 minutes! But sometimes that is enough to make all the difference between a good day and a bad day.

3. Break room as uber-friendly zone

My natural demeanor at the office is friendly, but not overly chatty with coworkers I don't know well. When you are starting a new job, any stranger you meet in the office could be an important ally in the future. It's a bit too much to ask of anyone to be extra friendly all the time, but I think the break room is an important crossroads where you can meet all sorts of interesting colleagues. So I make it a point to override my natural inclination and force myself to be just a little more friendly to everyone when I'm there. In the past this has allowed me to meet mentors and mentees, make friends, and even get invited to a lunch meeting with the CEO!

These are just a few EZPZ examples and I imagine you probably can come up with some great ones, too. I hope these tips will serve you well.

Help, My Kindle Can't Find My WiFi

I have a terrible affliction. Whenever there is some minor, but annoying technology glitch in my life, I have to experiment and research in an attempt to fix it, no matter how long it takes. Hopefully, I succeed and don't make things worse. And when I do succeed, all is right in the world as I emerge victorious! 

For the longest time I couldn't get my Kindle to recognize or connect to my WiFi. It had worked on a different WiFI router before so I was fairly sure it wasn't a problem with my Kindle.  

As it turns out, the solution was there, but it was hidden in an Amazon.com forum. All credit goes to user "2fatcats." Whoever you are, I salute you.

EZPZ solution:

1. Change the channel setting on your WiFi router from "automatic" to any channel from 1-11. That's it!

For some reason, the Kindle cannot connect with a router with "automatic" channel selection. 

See the original solution here.

How to Deliver a Flawless Proposal

"Happy wife, happy life."

Around the time I would propose to my wife she mentioned to me, several times, that she did NOT want a big, public display with hooplah and fanfare. I do a lot of things wrong as a husband (perhaps Ray Barone as a role model was a questionable choice), but one thing I try to do right is listen when my wife insists I do something a certain way for her. This takes effort as my first instinct tends to be the opposite of what she wants. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus - you know the deal. So for our proposal I heeded her request and proposed in a fairly private place with a minimum of theatrics.

This went against the grain of what I had heard about from my friends and the ever-escalating "look how amazing and cool and original my proposal was" on YouTube extravaganzas. One thing I wonder about those is whether the actual proposal, the spoken words, are given the same amount of attention and preparation so that they are delivered with the maximum effect.

So if you are like me and you won't be hypnotizing your partner with a mini Michael Bay-style production and will rely more on your words, here are a few EZPZ steps you can take to deliver a flawless marriage proposal.

1. Take a first stab and jot down the main points. (10 min)
2. Read it out loud several times.
3. Make small tweaks until you have the main points in there. (No more than 5 min)
4. Use a voice recorder on your phone and without reading, just go for it. You will stumble. You will leave important things out. That is okay and part of the process.
5. Listen to it.
6. Read your notes again and think about what you would like to add, remove or change.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 6, making any changes you would like along the way.
8. When you are 80% happy with your last recording, it's time for fun.
9. Now mix it up by doing your proposal in several different modes. For example:

• Character voices - Terminator, Batman, Stitch.
• Sing it - Lionel Richie, John Mayer, Bon Jovi.
• Do it with your eyes closed. On one foot. Do it upside down.

By the end of this process, your message will be sharper and you will have internalized what it is you want to say.

Finally, Step 10. Leap of faith.

Throw away your notes and every recording except the last one. You are ready, grasshopper. Anything you will forget is not that important. You now have the confidence through your practice and training. Go forth, make that perfect EZPZ proposal and live happily every after!