1: The trappings are just the wrappings

Today: I share why I decided to design, create, and deliver a daily podcast (gulp!) on executive presence, what to expect, and how it will help you elevate your career. I also include a preview of the first, full episode. 

Tune in July 5 for your first of many Executive Presence Morsels! 

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

Transcript

You know, one thing people worry about and often focus on is the looks or the outward manifestations of executive presence. So I'm going to share a story to illustrate what's important about that, and what's not as important. And what the actual mechanism is that generates executive presence.

So many years ago, our team had a meeting with an executive sponsor.

His name was Finn Meyer. He was a Danish partner at KPMG and this guy, he looked the part, I mean, tall, really well-tailored suit. Had the graying hair, just looked like you would imagine an executive of a Fortune 500 company or a partner in a large multinational firm, sort of like Jeremy Irons in Margin call, but maybe a little bit more European.

So we're having this meeting and we're pitching this project to him and he was just impressive, just sitting there at the head of the table, of course, and listening to our Team Lead and the other members sort of pitching our plan for this big project we were launching for the company.

And he was just there, so quiet and just observing, listening. He kind of had his hands in that signature sort of triangle steeple, nodding once in a while, might have asked one or two questions, but was generally just sitting back and quiet.

So we finished our presentation and at the very end of it, he said, “you guys did a great job…this is really important work,” all the things you would expect an executive to say, and then boom, he dropped the hammer on us. He said, this project will fail if you keep to this really long timeline. You need to accelerate the timeline so you can keep the attention of all the stakeholders and get this done in a certain amount of time.

And we're all just like, “but we made it as short as we could,” but he explained why it was really important to shorten it. And then, as a result, we did shorten the timeline, not tremendously, but to a point where it was a little bit more manageable and the project was a huge success.

Now, thinking back on that time and I had run into him one or two other times, you start to wonder, “how much does his outward appearance play into his executive presence?” And he really had tremendous executive presence in that meeting without hardly having to do or say anything.

So is it just the fact that he's tall, well-dressed, has a title or has a certain look about him? I believe he was a partner in the Danish firm at the time.

And what I’ve come to realize is, the trappings are just the wrappings. Right? All those things kind of send a signal to our brain, either consciously or unconsciously, that this is the type of person we're accustomed to, to having executive presence.

However, that is just the wrapping, like on a gift, right? You imagine you get a wonderful gift, this beautiful silver, gold, or bejeweled wrapping paper -- whatever you find really impressive. And then you go to open it and inside it's just a piece of junk, right? It's like a 1999, seen on TV, trinket that you know is gonna work well for about a week and is going to fall apart. Right?

Things like your height, your clothing, I would even put your title and certain things are just trappings. They're just the outer manifestation. They're not the thing that actually generates the executive presence. So in this instance, looking back, what was it that generated executive presence for Finn?

And for me, executive presence happens between two people, right? It's the space in between the two people. So for me, what it was, was he had incredible stillness, right? As he was listening, he was incredibly still, and just allowed us to talk. And he didn't feel the need to dominate the conversation or prove anything. He's just, just totally in control himself and the situation.

And secondly, he was very engaged. Even while he wasn't talking, you could tell by his posture, by the way, he would nod his head, by the way he was making eye contact and just his general mood, that he was really engaged with what we were telling him and that he was going to come with some really solid advice. Which he did.

So all this, just to demonstrate that executive presence really comes from your presence. It's not something you have, like clothing or a title. It's really the way you are in a room, are in a space and people feel for lack of a better term that, that energy or mood, that you bring to any situation.

And the most important part is that is the type of energy that inspires confidence, that that person's going to be able to lead you well. So just wanted to share that thought with you. We'll come back over the next few days with additional thoughts on different principles. So thanks. This is Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor, and thank you for joining us on our very first episode of Executive Presence Morsels.